Wednesday, May 5, 2010

The Elephant in the Living Room

My generation has many choices of brainrot. There's reality tv in all forms and shapes, like Big Brother, The Robinson Expedition (which might be called Survivor in the states, I dunno what it's called over there), Idol (of many different varieties), This Country's Got Talent, dancing competitions, singing competitions, who can eat the most bull testicles and spider eggs, all culminating in Paradise Hotel, which is tv at it's most base form - putting young, physically attractive people with extremely abrasive personalities in a luxury resort with free access to alcohol, beds and eachother and putting cameras on them, waiting for the money shot.

Oh my how glorious tv has become.

Besides that, there's news, which are always grim and about the bad stuff that happens. There's very rarely a happy news story, so the news are rarely uplifting.

There's documentaries, however these are usually limited to people building bikes, people building cars, people doing tattoo work, people blowing crap up or sharks. Or meercats. Or animal police. Which is more uplifting material, yay.

Then there's the new fad that's come through the last few years - sms tv. Basically some young blonde chick or extremely outwardly homosexual fella who sits in a box in the corner while people's text messages are shown on-screen. Then the person in the box goes on to try and provoke people and have them send in their text message (which costs several dollars a pop) just to earn money for whatever mobile company owns the show. Either that or some ludicrously easy quiz or challenge that people think they have a chance to win, where sending the same right answer several times will earn you a greater chance of winning. I've seen people try to win these things spend so many text messages it would've just been easier to go to the store and BUY their own toaster/mixer/dildo apparatus with built-in bluetooth and a USB port. I've also seen the host of these shows give away the answer just so people will send more text messages before time ostensibly "runs out." Yeah. Right.

Then there's what MTV has degenerated into. Basically, a variation of everything previously mentioned so far in this post, interspersed with the latest Black Eyed Peas tripe to show off a little flesh combined with extremely blatantly banal mediocre bullcrap attempts at "music". I should mention that I don't hate Black Eyed Peas especially, they're just a good example of mediocrity in music.

Finally we come to tv-series and films on tv. While I have nothing at all against series or movies, I very much so have something against commercials. Those 30 second snips of advertising that's found every 15 minutes or so through whatever happens to be on tv. Holy crap, how I hate having my program interrupted.


Joe Moron goes "Well Fred, how's about yous try to look on the bright side, huh? At least then you can go get a snack, or take a bathroom break, or walk the dog?"

I deftly reply with my intelligent wit "THAT'S WHY GOD INVENTED THE PAUSE BUTTON, YOU ABSOLUTE DUMBASS!!"

....Phew. That felt good!


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