What I Want The News To Tell Me Each Morning

Often, I check my regular news sites and such for, well, news. And not as often, not even regularly, but a few times? I get hit in the face with some of the coolest science fiction-sounding stories. By way of a for instance?

"Time Traveler Caught in Museum Photo?"

The story about the picture someone found in a museum in Canada. It's a black and white photograph from the early 1940's, regarding the reopening of the South Fork Bridge after a flood. And in between all the old clothes and trends of trench coats, hats and old fashioned dresses, some guy is wearing sunglasses, a hooded sweater, a t-shirt complete with a stamped image, and holding a compact camera. He looks somewhat out of place. AND TIME.

How can I NOT read this? That's how you write a goddamn heading!

(Although his clothes and even camera is not completely atypical for his time, they were just not stereotypical, is all. However, I leave judgement to his time travelerisms up to everybody else.)

Here's another one for you:

"Sundamaged Zombie Satellite Ravaging Earth's Orbit!"

Apparently, the satellite Galaxy 15 (G-15) got hit by high energy particles from the sun, which caused an anomaly. It is now circling out of it's designated geostationary orbit with it's telecommunications signal-receivers and -amplifiers still firing. If it drifts close enough to other satellites it will "eat" their transmissions, messing up our daily shit in a big way.

I mean, you could risk missing the last 20 minutes of the series finale of 'Lost' or something because this thing is on a rampage. It has ignored over 200,000 commands to get it's act together and shape up, and a series of high-powered signals that were intended to kill it off.

ZombieSat continues it's journey. Woe is television.

And last but not least:

"People All Over The World Dream of This Man"

The man, referred only to as 'This Man', has not yet been identified by name. The case started in a well-known New York psychiatrist's office in early 2006, when a patient drew a detailed sketch of the face of a man who had been appearing in her dreams. This Man had been giving her advice about her personal life. The woman swears to have never met this person, outside her dreams. While not completely unusual, as dreams are very individual and strange, the sketch that lay forgotten on the desk was picked up by another patient a few days later. This patient also recognized This Man as a person appearing in his dreams, giving him advice on his personal life!

The psychiatrist ends up sending copies of the sketch to other psychiatrists, and eventually a website appears on the internet, connecting together people who have dreamed about This Man.

To date, over 2,000 people claim to have dreamed about This Man, in cities all over the world.

He has yet to be identified.

I do not need news to tell me the world is full of evil people and indifferent societies. I'm aware of these facts. They are not news to me.

I need news to keep me interested in the world. I need the strange, and the new, and the weird.

Give me all the strange, new, weird shit you've got to spare.

-F.